Social Security Navigator T-Shirts

'I'll see your Social Security Supplement and raise you Medicare and a Canadian pharmacy ID.'

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

"Sinclair's not all he's cracked up to be. His reputation exceeds him."

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

'Apparently Wednesday is early conciliation day.'

Meet the Blogger - 1-3 AM.

"At Ermbruster Academy you son will acquire indispensible life skills."

"Oh, Johnny. I feel like I'm beginning to know you almost as well as Facebook does!"

'This is a simple proclamation-of-lack-of-interest date.'

'Explain to us, son, how gaining nine A levels is uncool and damages your street cred.'

He's back from retirement as a consultant.

Social median

"Which one is the emoji for immense relief, coupled with general underlying disappointment, tinged with cynicism, anger and apprehension?"

- 'Have you a map of London Underground?' - 'Try the basement!'

"Would it decrease my chances of getting a five star rating if I were to ask you about your political views."

'I usually don't do online dating.'

'Social networking was the last straw. Now the whole world ignores me.'

"Don't stare at his massive claw... Don't stare at his massive claw...

"I really like smart women."

'The reason I never finish my homework is that I spend too much time tweeting about how I have too much homework.'

it's his way of easing into full retirement.

'What do you know about the Information Superhighway, and where do we fit in?'

'Yeh-yeh-yeh - we're right on the corner of First and Main!'

The Land of the Uncomfortable Pause

"I thank you guys for a wonderful time—and for giving me the opportunity to access some laughter!"

Bigfoot Singles - 'Currently online: 1'

"When you grow up, son, you can be whatever you want, a doctor or a lawyer."

The Influencer from Hamelin