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"Do we kiss these people?"

"I forgot to charge him."

"Where else can you go from the security detail to owning the whole place?"

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

"Honey, this is serious, we need to text."

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

"Sinclair's not all he's cracked up to be. His reputation exceeds him."

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"Why do I feel like your mother is going to blame this on my cleaning?"

'Do you take this annoying woman to be your lawful wedded wife?'

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

"Uh-oh. The so-called marriage penalty."

"Thanks for that."

"Do you, Amanda and John, promise to watch yourselves, mind your Ps and Qs, and generally step on eggshells in this marriage, in order to somehow keep it up and running for as long as possible?"

'I'm sorry but I need my own space.'

"No, Phil, I'm not grateful that we finally have some time alone."

"My business is less bricks and mortar and more coffee shops and laptops. I sell NFTs."

Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasal spray instead of super glue!

"It's not all your fault, some of it is my mother's!"

'We tried marriage your way and it didn't work. Now it's my way!'

"Life’s become pretty easy lately. Perhaps it’s time we shake things up by adding a dependent."

'This is a simple proclamation-of-lack-of-interest date.'

"I don't understand... I've scientifically proven that you were wrong. How can you still be mad at me?"

"At Ermbruster Academy you son will acquire indispensible life skills."

Meet the Blogger - 1-3 AM.

"Once we're all vaccinated, will you still want to spend every waking moment together?"

"Oh, Johnny. I feel like I'm beginning to know you almost as well as Facebook does!"

'I feel like I just don't know you anymore, Richard!'

'Explain to us, son, how gaining nine A levels is uncool and damages your street cred.'

'In defense of forgetting our anniversary, I forgot we're married.'