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Evil Pusskins#3

"Why can't I get anything done unless I'm totally stressed out about it?" "Is it possible to be relaxed and still be productive?" "What is wrong with my brain?" "Why don't you work better?"

"I'm swamped but I can squeeze you in for a few moments yesterday."

"Honey, this is serious, we need to text."

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

"Sinclair's not all he's cracked up to be. His reputation exceeds him."

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

Some of us are calm on the surface but paddling like crazy underneath, and some of us are just the opposite.

"Why do I feel like your mother is going to blame this on my cleaning?"

'Do you take this annoying woman to be your lawful wedded wife?'

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

"Uh-oh. The so-called marriage penalty."

Develop Your Social Skills: Asking Questions is a Great Way to Keep a Conversation Going.

"No, Phil, I'm not grateful that we finally have some time alone."

"Thanks for that."

"Do you, Amanda and John, promise to watch yourselves, mind your Ps and Qs, and generally step on eggshells in this marriage, in order to somehow keep it up and running for as long as possible?"

'I'm sorry but I need my own space.'

Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasal spray instead of super glue!

"This isn't working out - I'm an earthworm and you're a....are you even listening to me?"

"It's not all your fault, some of it is my mother's!"

"Whisky? Have you got anything stronger?"

'This is a simple proclamation-of-lack-of-interest date.'

'We tried marriage your way and it didn't work. Now it's my way!'

"Once we're all vaccinated, will you still want to spend every waking moment together?"

"Life’s become pretty easy lately. Perhaps it’s time we shake things up by adding a dependent."

"I don't understand... I've scientifically proven that you were wrong. How can you still be mad at me?"

"At Ermbruster Academy you son will acquire indispensible life skills."

'I feel like I just don't know you anymore, Richard!'

"Harry, you're wrong on every level."

'In defense of forgetting our anniversary, I forgot we're married.'

'Explain to us, son, how gaining nine A levels is uncool and damages your street cred.'

Cupid gives up trying to get cell phone-using couple together.

Certificate in Living Room Celebrating Three Days Without Argument