Social Networking Navigator Pillows

"Hold on. Let me just check my self-worth."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

Networking

Obsession with the Internet.

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

Computer Expert

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

Network Extending from Buttonhole

"My tweet about not caring about what is trending is now trending."

'Of all the women who responded to my dating profile, you had the best emoticon.'

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

'Fetching newspapers is over. Now I aggregate blogs for him.'

Chasebook

Giving Things Up For Lent.

'Sir, your tweeting coach is here.'

Emily Dickinson Rebooted

INTERNET MARRIAGE.

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

'Mr. Smithdon's at his desk, but he's not really there....He's somewhere out there in cyberspace!'

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

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