Social Interaction Navigator Pillows

Excuse Cards: "If one doesn't work, try another!"

"Would it decrease my chances of getting a five star rating if I were to ask you about your political views."

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

"Sinclair's not all he's cracked up to be. His reputation exceeds him."

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

'The Boss is coming to dinner tonight - please don't open a can of worms again.'

"They say you shouldn't go to bed angry, so let's have it out right now before we go to sleep!"

"My business is less bricks and mortar and more coffee shops and laptops. I sell NFTs."

"Hi Ginny, that's a nice new haircut you've got there. Are you trying to be cuter than me?"

"At Ermbruster Academy you son will acquire indispensible life skills."

Meet the Blogger - 1-3 AM.

'This is a simple proclamation-of-lack-of-interest date.'

"Oh, Johnny. I feel like I'm beginning to know you almost as well as Facebook does!"

Coming Soon: The G.P.S. for Conversations

'Explain to us, son, how gaining nine A levels is uncool and damages your street cred.'

Social median

"I really like smart women."

"Which one is the emoji for immense relief, coupled with general underlying disappointment, tinged with cynicism, anger and apprehension?"

"I don't know about you, but ever since we invented language, I've been getting a lot less sex."

'I usually don't do online dating.'

"Don't stare at his massive claw... Don't stare at his massive claw...

'Social networking was the last straw. Now the whole world ignores me.'

"Be patient with Ed. You can skip his political harangue in 15 seconds and move right onto sports."

'The reason I never finish my homework is that I spend too much time tweeting about how I have too much homework.'

'What do you know about the Information Superhighway, and where do we fit in?'

Silent Body Language

Welcome to Hell: 'Be the first of your friends to like this.'

The Land of the Uncomfortable Pause

The Influencer from Hamelin

"I thank you guys for a wonderful time—and for giving me the opportunity to access some laughter!"

Bigfoot Singles - 'Currently online: 1'