Social Interaction Explorer Pillows

"Do you like creepily polite children of strangers?"

Group therapy for the socially retarded.

"We don't have any booths, but there's room at a communal table..."

Silent Body Language

Club Antisocial

"Mommy, watch, I'm living authentically!"

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

The four housemen of procrastination

'He's a man of few works. He likes to talk, he just has a limited vocabulary.'

"I don't know 'where I've been all of your life', but wherever it was, I wish I was there now!"

'I've been thinking about quitting, but it's the only thing that gets me out of the house.'

Cyber Dream

"Ok, so I just texted everybody my commencement speech."

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."

Books vs mobile phones

"It's great the way that computer algorithms allow the internet to feed me with opinions that reinforce the ones I've already got - all on my phone!"

"Social media makes it impossible to see, hear or speak no evil."

"Can you at least pretend to try and hold the elevator so I won't mull over and over how you didn't hold the elevator."

"If this is secret information the government doesn't want us to know, how come we can read about it on facebook?"

Traditional wisdom tells us that the brain takes on the shape of what it rests upon.

"I'm enjoying kindergarten except for all the politics!"

"I love to watch cat videos on the internet!"

"Apparently it's demanding offerings."

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

'On the internet, nobody knows you're a monkey.'

"How do you think that makes Gail feel, knowing her only dog is posting naked pictures of herself all over the internet?"

"Would it decrease my chances of getting a five star rating if I were to ask you about your political views."

Hello, Patty!

"The apes accepted you, but my sister's a whole other story."

"Sixty three percent of my life is on video."

'I find I spend less time on the computer since I downloaded this 'Get A Life' app for my phone.'

'You two will have lots in common - you share the same anxiety neurosis.'

"I'm now at the age where I'll be spending all my time on my phone and computer. If I don't speak to you for the next few years, don't take it personally."

''Man's Best Friend', huh? You haven't even friended me on social media yet!'