Social Settings Explorer Pillows

"Nobody told me it was formal."

Club Antisocial

"Mommy, watch, I'm living authentically!"

"Sinclair's not all he's cracked up to be. His reputation exceeds him."

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

The four housemen of procrastination

'He's a man of few works. He likes to talk, he just has a limited vocabulary.'

Cyber Dream

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."

"Ok, so I just texted everybody my commencement speech."

Books vs mobile phones

"I don't know 'where I've been all of your life', but wherever it was, I wish I was there now!"

"It's great the way that computer algorithms allow the internet to feed me with opinions that reinforce the ones I've already got - all on my phone!"

"If this is secret information the government doesn't want us to know, how come we can read about it on facebook?"

"Social media makes it impossible to see, hear or speak no evil."

Traditional wisdom tells us that the brain takes on the shape of what it rests upon.

'This is a simple proclamation-of-lack-of-interest date.'

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

"I love to watch cat videos on the internet!"

"Apparently it's demanding offerings."

"At Ermbruster Academy you son will acquire indispensible life skills."

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

'On the internet, nobody knows you're a monkey.'

'I find I spend less time on the computer since I downloaded this 'Get A Life' app for my phone.'

'I usually don't do online dating.'

"How do you think that makes Gail feel, knowing her only dog is posting naked pictures of herself all over the internet?"

"Sixty three percent of my life is on video."

'You two will have lots in common - you share the same anxiety neurosis.'

''Man's Best Friend', huh? You haven't even friended me on social media yet!'

"Would it decrease my chances of getting a five star rating if I were to ask you about your political views."