Social Scene Navigator Pillows

'Explain to us, son, how gaining nine A levels is uncool and damages your street cred.'

Another severe strikeout for Steve.

"Here comes those birds you pulled last night, stout and bitter."

"I really like smart women."

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

"Sinclair's not all he's cracked up to be. His reputation exceeds him."

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

No one knew it, but Gerald was about to execute what he called 'The Move.'"

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

"I don't know 'where I've been all of your life', but wherever it was, I wish I was there now!"

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

'Not...one...drop.'

'Your place or mine? Both. You go to your place and I'll go to mine!'

"I know it's only been a little while since we've been allowed to mingle again but I'm already getting really tired of people."

Meet the Blogger - 1-3 AM.

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

"Oh, Johnny. I feel like I'm beginning to know you almost as well as Facebook does!"

"At Ermbruster Academy you son will acquire indispensible life skills."

'This is a simple proclamation-of-lack-of-interest date.'

'But enough about me... let's talk about you. Do you prefer plain or ribbed condoms?'

Social median

'I usually don't do online dating.'

'He popped the question last night. 'Who do you think will win the Cup?'

'Social networking was the last straw. Now the whole world ignores me.'

Bad Hare Day

"Would it decrease my chances of getting a five star rating if I were to ask you about your political views."

"Don't stare at his massive claw... Don't stare at his massive claw...

"Which one is the emoji for immense relief, coupled with general underlying disappointment, tinged with cynicism, anger and apprehension?"

'The reason I never finish my homework is that I spend too much time tweeting about how I have too much homework.'

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'What do you know about the Information Superhighway, and where do we fit in?'

The Influencer from Hamelin

The Land of the Uncomfortable Pause

"I thank you guys for a wonderful time—and for giving me the opportunity to access some laughter!"