Societal Navigator Pillows

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

"Lenny?" "Darrell?"

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

"Sinclair's not all he's cracked up to be. His reputation exceeds him."

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

"Think about it. Maybe it's a good thing the boss doesn't know your name."

"What are we doing wrong?"

'Don't mind me....I'll just sit here while you work on homeland security, unemployment, health care and your many other prbblems!'

I'm filling out my myface.com and I have a question. Rudy Park, tech genius, at your service. Should I pretend to be 10,12 or 26 years old? 32? I configure browsers, not fake personas! I think I'll play for the Broncos.

"Oh, Johnny. I feel like I'm beginning to know you almost as well as Facebook does!"

To tweet, or not to tweet - that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the snark and the venomous replies of anonymous jerks

"At Ermbruster Academy you son will acquire indispensible life skills."

'This is a simple proclamation-of-lack-of-interest date.'

"Maybe it's not so good that my mentor is taking me to the mountaintop with him."

Meet the Blogger - 1-3 AM.

Nycole Turmel: I can call Jack anytime for advice!

"I'm finally done celebrating the recent election."

'Explain to us, son, how gaining nine A levels is uncool and damages your street cred.'

Social median

"Which one is the emoji for immense relief, coupled with general underlying disappointment, tinged with cynicism, anger and apprehension?"

'Social networking was the last straw. Now the whole world ignores me.'

'Isn't that kind of thing generally frowned upon in the real mob.'

'I usually don't do online dating.'

"I really like smart women."

Office Rage.

"Ascend, Collins."

"Pastor, is photoshopping selfies a sin?"

"Would it decrease my chances of getting a five star rating if I were to ask you about your political views."

"Don't stare at his massive claw... Don't stare at his massive claw...

'The reason I never finish my homework is that I spend too much time tweeting about how I have too much homework.'

'What do you know about the Information Superhighway, and where do we fit in?'

The Influencer from Hamelin