Social Scene Navigator Gifts

'Explain to us, son, how gaining nine A levels is uncool and damages your street cred.'

Another severe strikeout for Steve.

I should probably warn you that you've wandered into a place where you're very likely to get hit on by some jerk. I don't mean this bar, I mean this comic strip.

Give that woman a Pink Squirrel! Give that man a black eye.

'There's Connie Sinkway. She has quite the reputation for attracting younger men!'

"Here comes those birds you pulled last night, stout and bitter."

"I really like smart women."

No one knew it, but Gerald was about to execute what he called 'The Move.'"

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

"Sinclair's not all he's cracked up to be. His reputation exceeds him."

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

"I don't know 'where I've been all of your life', but wherever it was, I wish I was there now!"

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

'Not...one...drop.'

"I know it's only been a little while since we've been allowed to mingle again but I'm already getting really tired of people."

I'm filling out my myface.com and I have a question. Rudy Park, tech genius, at your service. Should I pretend to be 10,12 or 26 years old? 32? I configure browsers, not fake personas! I think I'll play for the Broncos.

'Your place or mine? Both. You go to your place and I'll go to mine!'

Meet the Blogger - 1-3 AM.

'This is a simple proclamation-of-lack-of-interest date.'

"Oh, Johnny. I feel like I'm beginning to know you almost as well as Facebook does!"

To tweet, or not to tweet - that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the snark and the venomous replies of anonymous jerks

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

"At Ermbruster Academy you son will acquire indispensible life skills."

Social median

'But enough about me... let's talk about you. Do you prefer plain or ribbed condoms?'

"Don't stare at his massive claw... Don't stare at his massive claw...

'He popped the question last night. 'Who do you think will win the Cup?'

'I usually don't do online dating.'

"Pastor, is photoshopping selfies a sin?"

'Isn't that kind of thing generally frowned upon in the real mob.'

'Social networking was the last straw. Now the whole world ignores me.'

"Would it decrease my chances of getting a five star rating if I were to ask you about your political views."

"Which one is the emoji for immense relief, coupled with general underlying disappointment, tinged with cynicism, anger and apprehension?"