Social Situation Navigator Gifts

Say it with Flowers: 'Late - daffs. Drunk - roses. Stag party - carnations. Adultery - orchids.'

"Maybe quarantine was better?!!!"

"Lenny?" "Darrell?"

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

"Sinclair's not all he's cracked up to be. His reputation exceeds him."

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

'I'll see your Social Security Supplement and raise you Medicare and a Canadian pharmacy ID.'

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

Develop Your Social Skills: Asking Questions is a Great Way to Keep a Conversation Going.

"Whisky? Have you got anything stronger?"

"At Ermbruster Academy you son will acquire indispensible life skills."

'I can't even watch football on TV. When they go into a huddle I'm sure they're talking about me.'

"Oh, Johnny. I feel like I'm beginning to know you almost as well as Facebook does!"

'This is a simple proclamation-of-lack-of-interest date.'

'Explain to us, son, how gaining nine A levels is uncool and damages your street cred.'

Social median

"Is it me, or does the old man still look angry at us for denting his Cadillac?"

"Don't stare at his massive claw... Don't stare at his massive claw...

"I really like smart women."

'Wilcox! Do come in...I'm just leaving!'

'I usually don't do online dating.'

"Would it decrease my chances of getting a five star rating if I were to ask you about your political views."

But enough about me, let's talk about my job.

"The kids got candy and all I got were disturbed looks."

Bigfoot Singles - 'Currently online: 1'

"When you grow up, son, you can be whatever you want, a doctor or a lawyer."

The Land of the Uncomfortable Pause

"I thank you guys for a wonderful time—and for giving me the opportunity to access some laughter!"

The Influencer from Hamelin

Welcome to Hell: 'Be the first of your friends to like this.'

'Nobody likes me. I need a media advisor.'

This could be worse than the GFC...an emotional Santa logs on and de-friends Rudolph.'

"I forgot to charge him."