Social Security Explorer Pillows

Boomers.

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

"So you kiss me and I turn into a prince? No thanks, sweetie, I'm gay. I'm already a queen."

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

"I just don't want to be 'that' waffle."

"I feel like there's a chick in me trying to escape."

"Nice design but you haven't quite mastered the technology!"

"Tell me more about your imposter syndrome."

"I'm not worried about identity theft. Who'd want to be me?"

"With this suit, I hereby establish dominion over my male identity."

Guys looks in the mirror and sees himself as a prisoner.

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."

"I'm tired of being openly gay.I'm seriously considering going back in to the closet."

Body Systems

'Leap frog? No thanks- I'm a toad.'

'I'll see your Social Security Supplement and raise you Medicare and a Canadian pharmacy ID.'

'There, we're up and running! Let the logging in begin. . .'

Columbus discovers ... his feminine side.

"Mom, Dad, college changed me."

“This daily metamorphosis never fails to amaze me. Around the house, I’m a perfect idiot. I come to court, futon a black robe, and, by God, I’m it!”

Seminar: Find Someone Cool to Imitate.

"Look, babe. At this point, you've reinvented yourself so many times you're back to who you were at the start."

'Yes,I do have a question.. What kind of dental plan do you have?'