Senior Life Explorer Pillows

"Hello, Dr. Moreno? I wanted to tell you how nice it was to visit you today, but I'm not sure I needed all the pill samples...especially since I'm not sick."

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

Albert & Myra - The End Story

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

The Age of Reptiles. . .

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

You know you're getting up there in years when your birthday cake requires that extra box of candles....

"Meeting old relatives...is like peeking into our future."

'I couldn't remember your exact age.'

Old Joe was determined to reach the summit as he'd left his false teeth up there last week!

"I don't remember him or the meal or what movie we saw. All I remember is I wore the right jeans."

Midlife: You Are Here.

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

"I must be getting old. I've forgotten why I came down the stairs."

"The one day we decided 'To hell with hair!' "

'They say ninety is the new eighty.'

'Now that I'm retired, I have time for state and national meetings, but I no longer need the information.'

Old Geriatric Hitchhiker holding a sign saying 'Last Fling',

'If you're coming on this road trip the sign stays'

"Would you want to drink from a fountain of youth?" "I'd settle for a fountain of middle age."

"Well, did you get motorcycle riding out of your system?"

Archeology 101.

Retirement Age

"Here's the problem, I grabbed the wrong map. This isn't the Fountain of Youth. This is the Fountain of Middle Age."

'Are you having a mid-life crisis?', 'Let's hope so.'

"I can't tell if I feel tired because I'm older, or I feel older because I'm tired."

'I'm sorry but we don't have athletic scholarships for video games.'