Social Etiquette Pillows

"Tell him I can still hear him chewing."

"And remember, the phone goes to the left of the entree fork."

A recent study found frequent use of cell phones can present a serious health risk to the incredibly inconsiderate.

'I thought it was polite to ask about the baby. I didn't know she was just overweight.'

Too much information: 'I havent changed my underpants for three days.'

'Will everyone please hold it down! Can't you see I'm trying to use my cellphone?'

Unbroken Eye Contact: The Musical

'Texting or non-texting?'

Servant reproaching mistress for not knocking before she entered the kitchen

Servants - Cook and the Lady of the House

Cull people who eat big bags of potato chips during a movie.

'It's rude to talk to someone with your sunglasses on - they can't see your . . er . . limpid pools of loveliness.'

"Check."

"It says in lieu of gifts, we should not show up."

''He looks so natural' is for funerals, not weddings!'

Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.

How awkward. "Bless you" didn't seem right. "Gesundheit" would work ??" but no one wanted to offend the Germans.

'An old-looking guy held the door for me today, and called me 'sir'.'

"Mum thinks smoking is anti-social!"

'Margie, that rude guy who's always on his cell phone is coming through my line again!'

'Apart from the pain I can't get my hat off.'

'I wouldn't pop those if I were you.'

'Sorry! I thought nobody would notice.'

"Hey, aren't you the guy who faces everyone on the elevator?"

"Where's ya manners, lady!? Never attempt conversation with someone who's mindlessly staring at their phone!"

"How much are we supposed to tip the guy who followed us to our room and flicked the light switch?"

"Ribbit! Pardon me."

Conversation Topics and Guidelines Approved for this Area...

"Sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to say how much I hate your dress."

Man takes his face off instead of his hat.

"We've only just met. I don't think it would appropriate for you to stay the night."

Foot tap

"Please to meet you."

"Remember, it could spoil the whole evening if you mention the smell of decomposing flesh coming from their basement."

Two gentlemen and a rich widow