Social Cue Navigator Pillows

"I've been masked so long I've forgotten - should the ends of my mouth move up or down when smiling?"

I'm not good with names but never forget a face. Of course, that's not very useful right now.

"Lenny?" "Darrell?"

"Sinclair's not all he's cracked up to be. His reputation exceeds him."

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

"I don't know 'where I've been all of your life', but wherever it was, I wish I was there now!"

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

I'm filling out my myface.com and I have a question. Rudy Park, tech genius, at your service. Should I pretend to be 10,12 or 26 years old? 32? I configure browsers, not fake personas! I think I'll play for the Broncos.

'The Boss is coming to dinner tonight - please don't open a can of worms again.'

'This is a simple proclamation-of-lack-of-interest date.'

Meet the Blogger - 1-3 AM.

"At Ermbruster Academy you son will acquire indispensible life skills."

"Oh, Johnny. I feel like I'm beginning to know you almost as well as Facebook does!"

To tweet, or not to tweet - that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the snark and the venomous replies of anonymous jerks

Coming Soon: The G.P.S. for Conversations

'Explain to us, son, how gaining nine A levels is uncool and damages your street cred.'

Social median

'I usually don't do online dating.'

"I really like smart women."

"Don't stare at his massive claw... Don't stare at his massive claw...

'Social networking was the last straw. Now the whole world ignores me.'

"Which one is the emoji for immense relief, coupled with general underlying disappointment, tinged with cynicism, anger and apprehension?"

"Try to play with a kid whose parent isn't too chatty."

"Pastor, is photoshopping selfies a sin?"

"Be patient with Ed. You can skip his political harangue in 15 seconds and move right onto sports."

"Would it decrease my chances of getting a five star rating if I were to ask you about your political views."

'The reason I never finish my homework is that I spend too much time tweeting about how I have too much homework.'

'What do you know about the Information Superhighway, and where do we fit in?'

"People don't understand that alcoholism is a hazard of my profession!"

The Land of the Uncomfortable Pause

The Influencer from Hamelin

Bigfoot Singles - 'Currently online: 1'