Social Cue Navigator T-Shirts

"I've been masked so long I've forgotten - should the ends of my mouth move up or down when smiling?"

"Lenny?" "Darrell?"

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

"Sinclair's not all he's cracked up to be. His reputation exceeds him."

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

"I don't know 'where I've been all of your life', but wherever it was, I wish I was there now!"

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

'The Boss is coming to dinner tonight - please don't open a can of worms again.'

'This is a simple proclamation-of-lack-of-interest date.'

Meet the Blogger - 1-3 AM.

"At Ermbruster Academy you son will acquire indispensible life skills."

"Oh, Johnny. I feel like I'm beginning to know you almost as well as Facebook does!"

Coming Soon: The G.P.S. for Conversations

'Explain to us, son, how gaining nine A levels is uncool and damages your street cred.'

Social median

"Be patient with Ed. You can skip his political harangue in 15 seconds and move right onto sports."

"Try to play with a kid whose parent isn't too chatty."

"Which one is the emoji for immense relief, coupled with general underlying disappointment, tinged with cynicism, anger and apprehension?"

'I usually don't do online dating.'

"I really like smart women."

'Social networking was the last straw. Now the whole world ignores me.'

"Don't stare at his massive claw... Don't stare at his massive claw...

"Would it decrease my chances of getting a five star rating if I were to ask you about your political views."

'The reason I never finish my homework is that I spend too much time tweeting about how I have too much homework.'

'What do you know about the Information Superhighway, and where do we fit in?'

The Land of the Uncomfortable Pause

"I thank you guys for a wonderful time—and for giving me the opportunity to access some laughter!"

"I hate it when they dress you with their eyes."

"People don't understand that alcoholism is a hazard of my profession!"

The Influencer from Hamelin