Social Cue Decoder T-Shirts

"I hate it when they dress you with their eyes."

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

"Let me put it this way: I'm hitting 'Unlike' and 'Unhire.'"

'You might show a little excitement at the figures, Johnson!'

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

DIY horror.

'Physical or Social Science?'

Information vs. confusion

"And here you have a brown thing next to something greenish, with some sort of brown runny stuff underneath it."

'Decoding is often 1, 14, 20, 9, 3, 12, 9, 13, 1, 3, 20, 9, 3.'

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

'Yes, it is a carrot. You haven't been getting enough fibre.'

'It's my job to be nosy!'

"Let me guess: Step two, add sand."

'It's this one here, that I don't understand.'

'Oh, and remember, Sir, whatever you do, please don't go staring at Mr. Winterhouse's glass eye.'

'She always comes to my ringtone. It's the sound of a can opener.'

"Thanks to this new app, I now know Jim there is disgruntled."

'On the paupiettes de boeuf a la hongroise, which part is the hongroise?'

'Is this a Greek restaurant?'

'Baby and Child Care Guidelines'

"i'm trying to remember the type of California white wine but I like, but my mind keeps drawing a blanc."

"The chocolate pudding is chef's digital signature dish."

'These pamphlets will explain the procedure and these leaflets will explain the pamphlets.'

"You'll fit in just fine."

Marooned Optometrist

"This way, the humans get the message."

"I would be bilingual if you were bilingual!"

'Sorry, no carbs.'

"If we could decipher their language we'd have a clue to their intelligence levels."

'Connect insert A, B, and C into slots D, E, and F. Tighten using assembly tool G. What in the H are they talking about?'