Soccer Agent Gifts

Football merchandise - Replica bungs

'It's not easy being ahead of your time.'

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

'Maybe we should sign him before the MVP award is announced.'

No Baseball

Currently Boston

"Which part are you reading for?"

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

"The team needs LEADERSHIP, anyone have a view on that?"

'Now go out there and sell yourself!'

Meet Santa's entourage

'Nine national treasures in one film! Start writing your Oscar speech, darling.'

Snow White and her Seven people.

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

"Well, you're certainly on our short list."

"People are always banging on about the advantages of 'so-called' diversity."

Casting in the swamp.

'Therapy in L.A.'

"You're looking at the next Bob Dylan."

'Please, Dad? Can we? Can we? Pleeeease?'

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'

Baseball players and their qualifications.

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."

'He followed me home, Mom. Can I sign him to a five-year, $80-million contract?..'

'Michelle's Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms'

'What makes you think we want to sell you son.'

'He's checking with his agent to see if it's okay to score a try!'