Sobriety Spokesperson Gifts

Man drunk and unconscious in the street

'How fast can you hype?'

"National security adviser"

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

Nature is going crazy! Extremely hot summers, tornadoes, floods. . .and now Frank comes home sober on a Friday evening at 10 PM!

"Allow me to respond to your question with a question of my own that I can answer."

Sober Tooth Tiger

"My spokesperson won't speak to me."

'I had to give a short speech last night. It was a hoot!'

'Welcome! Highly placed, unidentified administration spokespersons convention.'

"Marketing hired a golf pro as our spokesperson. Finally, we've got someone on the ball around here."

A boy and his spin patrol.

'You made a complete fool of yourself at the party last night...I just hope no one knows you were sober.'

'We're out of duct tape.'

Alcoholics Anonymous - 'Nowadays every bottle seems to say 'drink me'.'

"Has our apologist been alerted?"

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

"I don't think of it as an environmental disaster, I think of it as inventing extinct animals."

"Is there a spin doctor in the house?"

Company spokespersons statement being interpreted into plane English by a second spokesman.

'So how did Hakeem take it when you told him we'd be paying him in footwear instead of cash this year, for being our spokesman?'

"Ninety days, catnip-free. I couldn't have done it without you."

"That's a very good question, which is why we're going to move on to the next question."

'Hopkins, I want you to write me an inspiring, dynamic speech that bears my unmistakable stamp of genius.'

"I have a brief statement, a clarification, and two denials."

"Must be another white house spokesman..."

A man tries to avoid going over the waterfall of alcohol dependence.

"The government is confident it has its numbers right. . . we're just not sure what order to put them in."

'Over the years our company has acquired a face of its own.'

"To be honest, it was a matter of finding something to do after I gave up alcohol."

Wordplay: Spokesperson.

Alcohol and Tobacco Danger

'Which speech should I give them,,, Bullshit 1,,, Bullshit 2,,, or Bullshit 3'

'I can give up drinking and lead a normal life?- Make up your mind, will you?'