Sobriety Journeyer Gifts

"Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, my AA sponsor walks into mine."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

Nature is going crazy! Extremely hot summers, tornadoes, floods. . .and now Frank comes home sober on a Friday evening at 10 PM!

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

Sober Tooth Tiger

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

All we have in life is this moment...

'Have you been working out?'

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

Late-Onset Epiphany

'Fortunately, the Almighty is compassionate, kind, understanding, and hopefully tone deaf.'

Alcoholics Anonymous - 'Nowadays every bottle seems to say 'drink me'.'

"Never mind 'what does it all mean?' What does anything mean?"

"Rome was great – aside from the roaming fees."

Gwendolyn found herself deep in the Lake district,

"Can you get that down to 140 characters?"

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

"I used to be a young crazy rebel like you you know."

'Money can't buy friendship.'-'Neither can poverty.'

"Why would YOU want to know the meaning of life?"

'The spirit of Miss Tiger Lilly couldn't come this week!'

'I'm good. How are you?'

Zen Kitten

'Actually, I came up here to get away from people asking me about the secret to happiness.'

"The first step toward enlightenment is dissillusionment."

"Ninety days, catnip-free. I couldn't have done it without you."

An enlightenment seeker heads back from Truth lookign shocked.

'How do you think I ended up alone on the top of a mountain?'