Sobriety Journey Fan Gifts

"I'm celebrating one year of abstinence from alcohol."

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

Nature is going crazy! Extremely hot summers, tornadoes, floods. . .and now Frank comes home sober on a Friday evening at 10 PM!

Sober Tooth Tiger

Alcoholics Anonymous - 'Nowadays every bottle seems to say 'drink me'.'

'Did you remember to bring a specimen?'

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

"Ninety days, catnip-free. I couldn't have done it without you."

Alcohol and Tobacco Danger

A man tries to avoid going over the waterfall of alcohol dependence.

"To be honest, it was a matter of finding something to do after I gave up alcohol."

'I can give up drinking and lead a normal life?- Make up your mind, will you?'

Breathe-aholics Anonymous: 'Hi, my name is Glen, and I've been clean and sober for over one minute.'

IVF Slut

"Here y'are mate - have a drink on me. . !"

'Hi, my name's Bernard and I'm an alcoholic...'

"About time!"

"In an effort to conserve water... I've stopped having it in my whisky."

'I've been clean for six months now.'

Mrs. Gummidge casts a damp on our departure

"Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, my AA sponsor walks into mine."

'I can see it's going to be one of those days — my doughnut just rolled down the mountain.'

"Do you believe in life after drink?"

'Could you put me into an induced coma for four weeks?'

Drink kills.

'I'm on the wagon.'

"Sure, we're attaining enlightenment, but we're not building EQUITY."

One day he hoped to be clean and sober. But for now, clean would do.

'Do you find it easy not to think about alcohol?'

'Solar! I thought you said we were going completely SOBER!'

"You know what I miss? Those lazy, crazy, hazy days when we were drinking."

'Alchohol alone is responsible for your problems.'

Elf on the Wagon

"Okay. We're all here because we've relapsed..."