Sobriety Sage Gifts

'I get no kick from Champagne, mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all...' 'God, reformed alcoholics are so damned smug!'

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

Sigmund Freud.

That party went well.

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

'I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.'

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

Nature is going crazy! Extremely hot summers, tornadoes, floods. . .and now Frank comes home sober on a Friday evening at 10 PM!

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

The older I get, the more introspective I get, or is that retrospective?'

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

'Chicken soup for dummies who don't sweat the small stuff.'

Sober Tooth Tiger

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

Alcoholics Anonymous - 'Nowadays every bottle seems to say 'drink me'.'

Bishop with a crozier case.

"Time heals all wounds. It also kills every living thing."

'How am I supposed to meditate with your nose whistling?'

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

'They say ninety is the new eighty.'

Couldn't you have used a smaller font?

"Ninety days, catnip-free. I couldn't have done it without you."

How to believe in yourself.

Alcohol and Tobacco Danger

A man tries to avoid going over the waterfall of alcohol dependence.

"To be honest, it was a matter of finding something to do after I gave up alcohol."

'All that we learn from history is that we don't learn from history...'

'These people have terrible attention spans - I'll just bring them ten commandments at a time.'

'Meaning of life, eh? -- Who wants to know?'

'I can give up drinking and lead a normal life?- Make up your mind, will you?'

Breathe-aholics Anonymous: 'Hi, my name is Glen, and I've been clean and sober for over one minute.'

Man drunk and unconscious in the street