Snobologist Gifts

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

"Everybody comfortable? Got what they want? Know their place?"

"'City Slickers' was O.K., but, let's face it, it was no 'Claire's Knee.'"

The simultaneous development of dining and pomposity.

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

"Hints of migrant workers on the nose."

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

"I believe this is one of Rembrandt's earliest selfies."

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

'New money or old money?'

"C'mon dude, these are not your people."

" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

"I don't wanna 'adult' today."

"I love craft beer! It's opened an exciting new world of snobbery for me."

"I've seen this film ten times and it's still awful."

'Listen my man, I am not being condescending, I am just trying to use words I think you may be able to understand. . .'

'The review said drinking this wine is like drinking a Rembrandt. All I taste is the frame.'

"I'm enrolled in a total immersion wine class."

'He's a mixed breed.'

"I keep asking you for ideas, Hibblemeyer, and you keep drawing blanks."

David Cameron Parenting Classes: 'After registering them for Eton the next most important thing is selecting the right nanny!'

"Hi! I haven't had a crap in months. Bon appetit!"

"We spent the summer on the Côte de Jersey."

Ned Thompson, unpretentious wine taster.

"It's a couch, not a settee, you posh git!"

Fiction book sales.

" ..graduated with honours, great job, beautiful wife, great kids.. Sure we've all got a sad story to tell."

'Wow! That's probably the best Kyrgyzstani neo-realist horror-comedy crossover I've seen so far this year.'

'Great Books' 'Good Books' 'Trash'

"Regift the bicycle, Charles, but put this in my Panama pile."