Sneaky Sports Viewer Gifts

Spying on the football

"I AM at my usual position."

To attract a bigger audience, the world chess federation allow fans to distract an opponent when it's his move.

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

'Can't you at least wait until half time?!'

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

'Why is laying around watching movies considered cozy, but laying around watching football is considered lazy?'

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

Children watching a horse show from under the tent

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

Sports Sponsorship "What do you mean he lost?"

I think you just paid £5000 for cricket box, not a box at the cricket.

Man in traffic jam watches couple row while eating popcorn.

I told you you weren't allowed to stretch before the seventh inning. Security.

'I only come to the game for the half time entertainment and snack bar privileges.'

Octopus in the bleachers.

'...How much did he pay you to sneak in here and take his fitness test?'

The steeple-chase. Man reads a sign stating that no horseman is allowed to follow the racehorses over the course.

Fresh hamsters on a stick.

"Ignore the 45,000 people. They're watching you, but they're not staring at you."

'I thought you wanted to get more involved with my sports.'

'I know my electric bills are way over due, but could you at least wait until the Super Bowl is over before turning off my electricity?'

Winter Olympics

"Wait, all the screaming, and cheering, and swearing – you've been faking liking football the whole time?"

Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race,1870-The Crews Approach Putney Bridge

"Your fastball is just hanging and your curve isn't breaking at all. What you should do is take an analgesic with some pain-relieving anti-inflammatory ingredients for a few days."

"If you don't wish to hear the match result look away now."

'The new Hawkeye proves a hit with most of the crowd at Wimbledon.'

My first rodeo

'Hey! He's wearing shoes!!'

Carol simply couldn't relax knowing that at any moment five rowdy men might scream 'FUMBLE!'

Spying on the Football Match

TV Darts.

'Now you know why they call it a spectator sport.'