Snarky Remark Lover Pillows

'This is a ten year old whisky.' 'I suppose you were too stingey to buy a new one.'

The Snarky District

"Because you've been working so little, you can have the rest of your career here off."

"When I said that if only poor people worked a little harder they might get some money, I didn't mean my money."

"I can check again, but Mr. Saunders usually insists on the full wait."

'My dear boy its a wonderful display of post modern expressionism with overtones of Dada.'

"Just remember, when he says 'indie' he means Indianapolis."

"Lemme guess: You forgot the basil Mom asked for, and my ice cream is in your briefcase?"

'Oh, yeah?...Well, no one has to follow me around with a pooper-scooper.'

"I've got nothing on for the next few months, do you fancy sex?"

'Hey, Henderson, still got your brains in your butt? Ha! Ha!'

'Your Mother's lips haven't touched each other in 45 years!'

Mysteries of the ocean...

"I'd remind you not to fly too close to the sun, but no one's ever accused you of aiming too high, have they?"

'Of course you always offer 'concrete solutions.' Your head is full of cement.'

"Of course I listen to you. How else would I be able to mock you?"

"Mr. Tilson will suffer you gladly now."

"You didn't tip the paper boy."

"The voice pattern is similar to Dad's."

Divorcees Club - The Joy of Ex.

Christmas Party Pick-up Lines.

"I find doing actual work helps to pass the time."

Antisocial distancing

Hoping to compete with the Mayo Clinic: Miracle Whip Medical Clinic

'So which is it - transfixed by my beauty or standing on my ten-pound note?'

'The art is only so-so, but the California white wine is quite acceptable.'

"Nurse! Google this thingamajig and find out where it fits back in."

'I don't mind having to come outside to smoke...it's a bit of fresh air.'

'Women are so illogical! -- first she says she wouldn't touch me with a ten-foot pole, and then she punches me in the nose!'

'You're smarter than you look? -- well, I should HOPE so!'

"I can't pay more out of pocket - I'm out of pockets!"