Snail Mail Survivor Gifts

"We finally got some mail...it's a letter from the post office saying expect slow mail deliveries."

'Oh, no thanks. Just mark it as SPAM.'

U.S. mail box with note on it: 'Please Unsubscribe. Thank you, The Smiths.'

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

'Harold is the brains behind the Smudge-o-Rama mailer.'

'There's a gentleman here who's concerned because you haven't responded to not one of his 12 million email spams.'

'I've got a highspeed connection and I get spam... therefore I am!'

You've got snail.

"This is to apologise for the delay in internal mail that you wrote to us about in 1997"

The incredible journey: why your letter took two weeks to reach Connecticut

"Good news, your majesty. We may already be a winner."

Junk Mail

'The check is in the mail...'

'It's unto thee.'

"Jim will have to call you back. He's trying to find his real mail that's buried in all the junk mail."

"Hmm, great! - no sign of that dog..."

No Caption. (A snail is shown towing snail shells on a trailer in the manner of a semi truck towing cars to an auto dealer.)

"If it makes you feel any better, I'm pretty sure you're single-handedly keeping the U.S. postal service in business."

'Slow Connection'

"I know what the 'e' in 'email' stand for...endless."

It's important to stay on grandpa's check list.

Couriers and their customers often share a warm relationship.

"If it's really important, I can send it by turtle mail."

"They say you should beware of attachments."

'First past the post?'

Customer to postal worker: 'How about the wounded letter office?'

"I guess there are some things we're not intended to understand."

'Yes, I understand that at the Pony Express, you deliver promptly, but it doesn't change the fact that this is NOT my mail...'

MAIL CALL AT THOMPSON, HALVERSON, SPIELMAN & OSGOOD

"I'm sure it was just an oversight, sir, but your subscription to 'Time' has lapsed."

Stand in the Q.

'Sorry, ma'am, you just missed it. But we're expecting another one to blow through town in about an hour or so.'

Postman gives customer letter through letterbox.

"I really miss letters."