Snail Mail Nostalgist Gifts

Post Office: 'I hate it when they E-mail to complain!'

"You say I need to start using a slower speed?"

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

Letter Collecting Nerd

The Paper Route

'Harold is the brains behind the Smudge-o-Rama mailer.'

Quadruple dark hot chocolate. Whoa, everything all right? Sure, yeah, great. I'm a journalist and writer in an era in which the printed word has been totally devalued by free distribution of information on the internet. Can I pay in prose? Point taken.

The benefit of an old-fashioned newspaper.

You've got snail.

'You said you wanted to start reading the newspaper online.'

"This is to apologise for the delay in internal mail that you wrote to us about in 1997"

The incredible journey: why your letter took two weeks to reach Connecticut

Junk Mail

'The check is in the mail...'

'It's unto thee.'

'Is this where you send stuff offline?'

"Hmm, great! - no sign of that dog..."

"Jim will have to call you back. He's trying to find his real mail that's buried in all the junk mail."

"If it makes you feel any better, I'm pretty sure you're single-handedly keeping the U.S. postal service in business."

'Slow Connection'

No Caption. (A snail is shown towing snail shells on a trailer in the manner of a semi truck towing cars to an auto dealer.)

It's important to stay on grandpa's check list.

"If it's really important, I can send it by turtle mail."

Couriers and their customers often share a warm relationship.

'No, I mean, what's a 'letter'?'

Santa delivering newspapers

'First past the post?'

Customer to postal worker: 'How about the wounded letter office?'

"I'm sure it was just an oversight, sir, but your subscription to 'Time' has lapsed."

'Sorry, ma'am, you just missed it. But we're expecting another one to blow through town in about an hour or so.'

"I guess there are some things we're not intended to understand."

"I really miss letters."

Did you see our favorite comic strip today. The oldy Oldersons. Lemme see! Jebediah Drake's The Oldersons by Abner Drake, Jr. Oldena, you know, I can never tell the difference between pastrami and corned beef. Don't be so rye. Hilarious! But you know what bothers me? It's only in 95% of newspapers. Some papers are replacing it with new strips. What?! Mobilize the troops! The most powerful political group in America: AARC. The American Association of Retired Cartoon Readers. Give us Oldy or give

'Master corrected me with a newspaper... the Sunday Edition.'

Postman gives customer letter through letterbox.