Snail Mail Enthusiast Gifts

"I know it's fifty-five cents to mail, young man. How much to get it delivered?"

'First past the post?'

"This is to apologise for the delay in internal mail that you wrote to us about in 1997"

Postman Deposit All Junk Mail Here.

Bulk mail

'Not everyone despairs at the state of the postal service.'

3 mail boxes: Local, Out of Town, Errmail.

Mail Early In The Day Before Postal Rates Go Up.

"It's just junk mail dear."

You've got snail.

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays the E-Mailman from the swift completion of his appointed rounds.

'The complaint forms for slow mail delivery haven't arrived yet.'

Postbox of doom...

"I still like getting snail mail except for the slime!"

"She's really old! I know that cuase she writes letter on paper with an ink pen!"

'Slow Connection'

"If it's really important, I can send it by turtle mail."

Toast by Post

'How'd you like to sign up for our online service and convert all your junk mail to spam?'

Junk Mail

'Neither snow, nor rain, nor heat, nor gloom of night stops the mail from going through ... but inefficiency sure does.'

Postman gives customer letter through letterbox.

'It's unto thee.'

'Excuse me — this letter isn't addressed to me.' 'You trying to tell me how to do my job?'

'It's from Cousin Ignook in that warm, cozy prison.'

Mail...Government mail.

'My computer keeps telling me I have mail!'

Slot at Post Office says: 'No Class'.

No Caption. (A snail is shown towing snail shells on a trailer in the manner of a semi truck towing cars to an auto dealer.)

"I haven't sunk my teeth into a mailman's butt in months. I hate e-mail."

The incredible journey: why your letter took two weeks to reach Connecticut

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'

"Mail's here."

"I dreamt we got a 'sorry you were out' card."