Snail Mail Sender Gifts

'Not more junk mail!'

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

'You've been pre-approved for another credit card.'

'The kids are grown and gone now, but they always keep in touch.'

'Grrrr....'

Excess Baggage: You send emails from exotic places just to make your friends jealous.

'Wow, I sure got a lot of mail today!'

I can't smile without you...

A man on a desert island writes 'Have a nice day' in glass bottles repeatedly.

"There's the mailman!"

You've got snail.

'Oh oh...this isn't my mace, it's whipped cream!'

"This is to apologise for the delay in internal mail that you wrote to us about in 1997"

'I don't think I could have picked a tougher line of work.'

'Still no Christmas card from the Pope? - We did send HIM once, didn't we?'

"Take off your mailman's uniform before you return home. We have a new dog."

Beware of the dog.

The incredible journey: why your letter took two weeks to reach Connecticut

Junk Mail

'The check is in the mail...'

'Slow Connection'

"If it makes you feel any better, I'm pretty sure you're single-handedly keeping the U.S. postal service in business."

'It's unto thee.'

'I guess I never should have quit the rodeo'

"I cant do that! Who's gonna deliver the mail?!"

"Hmm, great! - no sign of that dog..."

Post early for Christmas 2010.

Postman in the Snow

No Caption. (A snail is shown towing snail shells on a trailer in the manner of a semi truck towing cars to an auto dealer.)

"Jim will have to call you back. He's trying to find his real mail that's buried in all the junk mail."

Couriers and their customers often share a warm relationship.

It's important to stay on grandpa's check list.

"If it's really important, I can send it by turtle mail."