Letter Sender Gifts

'See, there are thousands of letters, all starting with 'Dear Santa'... Aren't Humans strange?'

'Mummy said let it drop,there's a good boy..'

Santa Claus's Mail

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

'Harold is the brains behind the Smudge-o-Rama mailer.'

I love you.

I can't smile without you...

Excess Baggage: You send emails from exotic places just to make your friends jealous.

'Grrrr....'

'The kids are grown and gone now, but they always keep in touch.'

'Wow, I sure got a lot of mail today!'

"I've run out of invisible ink..."

A man on a desert island writes 'Have a nice day' in glass bottles repeatedly.

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

'Of course creative writing is important. You want to write home for money when you go away to college,don't you?'

'Dang it, nothing but junk mail'

"There's the mailman!"

Postman walking away from mailbox after putting mail in. Sounds of it eating can be heard.

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, I am 62 years old and was fired from my job of 22 years just before xmas 2010. What should I do? Sincerely, Irene. Attack! Stop! Enough, Sadie. Haven't you been listening? The mean-spirited, virulent partisanship of talk show hosts must end. People were hurt and some died. Aren't you the ultimate partisan, you coot? That's different lady! Fasten your seatbelts.

'Oh oh...this isn't my mace, it's whipped cream!'

'Remember that Op-Ed piece you wrote last month?...'

'I don't think I could have picked a tougher line of work.'

'Still no Christmas card from the Pope? - We did send HIM once, didn't we?'

"Take off your mailman's uniform before you return home. We have a new dog."

"I'm writing to mother to let her know how you're doing.Is deathbed one word or two?"

"Take a letter, any letter"

Beware of the dog.

Letter from Camp* (*with Footnotes)

'My wife doesn't appreciate that I push the envelope every day.'

"She'll be riding six white horses when she comes. Stop. She'll be riding six white horses when she comes. Stop. She'll be riding six white horses, she'll be riding six white horses, she'll be riding six white horses when she comes. Stop." "That's just like your mother."

'It's very public-spirited to write your congressman, Millard, but Joe McCarthy has been dead for years!'

Penfriend