Snail Humorist Gifts

Attack of the killer snails!

reincarnated worm...

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

Turtle Hat

''What's in the bag, lady?''

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

Rude Snowpeople

"That's the last time I buy a dog from a cartoonist."

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

"Dear, you are Definitely coming back as a centipede."

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"Is a six pack enough? I can go back out."

Walking the Plank.

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

The Sensitive Dude.

Man painting MOM on boat

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"

How is your soup, sir? Speaking for myself, it looks pretty good. I can't speak for the fly, of course.

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

Alligator Bars

'We're drifting apart.'

"Hey wader, there's a fly in my sloop"

'That's his new trophy fishwife.'

'Extreme acupuncture.'

"Nope, not a dock! Not a diving board! Guess again!"

Fish near-death experiences.

'We HAVE to hire a nanny.'

'Aye, but can you guys get 500 channels with those hooks?'

'Have you ever wondered how deep the ocean would be without sponges?'