Snack Snatcher Pillows

15 Second Grocery Delivery

Hey Gus, I've managed to steal some crackers and some grapes too...

"You want me to explain how there were two doughnuts in the larder and now there is only one? Easy, it was too dark in there to see the second one."

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

Little league world series of poker.

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

Honest Vending

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Love is when you watch television together.

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

"The bagels are better in New York."

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

"Wait, has thou brought snacks?"

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

"With the prices they charge these days I can't afford to throw a pie or can off beer at the ref."

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

'If it's a universal remote, how come it doesn't work on the refrigerator?'

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

Stupid Microwave

"My parents won't allow sugar in the house, so I've had to learn about it on the street."

The feeding frenzy has begun, gorging ourselves on bowl after bowl of college football.

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

"I like to use new Bible words. Let's beseech Mom for cookies."

'Half o' mild and a bag of pork scratchings - you're grooming me, aren't you?'

Cookie Surveillance

North Fork, the town too tough to diet.