Snacker Pillows

Sometimes, instead of one big meal, I prefer tapas.

'Don't take it personally... he doesn't know I'm here either.'

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

Honest Vending

Movie Awards. Winner. It's been a big night for Ernie! He won three times at the movie-set caterer awards! On one set he made a healthy, refreshing beverage that received rave reviews from the cast and crew. He won the "best pitcher" award for it. Did they say he won for best costumes? No, his dressings won. His sticky buns won also. For "best leading roll" performance, right? No, for best "cinnamontography"!

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

"My parents won't allow sugar in the house, so I've had to learn about it on the street."

"I like to use new Bible words. Let's beseech Mom for cookies."

'...And as suburban sprawl continues to grow, many people are finding themselves living uncomfortably close to their wildlife neighbors.'

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

"Whoa! One last doughnut left."

Breakfast surreal.

In prehistoric times, there were hunters, gatherers and guys who never had change.

Student Food Pyramid

Bill stumbles upon an automated taco maker.

"Do you want fries with that?"

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

Gym. Whatever weight I manage to lose here I always seem to find on my way home. Donuts.

The Pope getting a Popsicle for Popes from the Freezer

Give me a child at seven and I will show you the MAN!

"Alexa, tell me ways I can be less of a lazy slob who won't get up to turn off the lights."

Romulus and Remus and the Vending Machine

"You complete me."

'Beer? Wassat then?'

"You want me to explain how there were two doughnuts in the larder and now there is only one? Easy, it was too dark in there to see the second one."

"Don't make me resort to alternative questioning techniques."

"It's a map to the vending machines."

"Stuffing your face while watching TV does cause obesity."

'Because it's there!'

'Boy, am I hungry. Alll I've had to eat today is some homework!'