Tv Snacker Pillows

"Stuffing your face while watching TV does cause obesity."

"That's the trouble with all these classic movies...they're all reruns!"

'It's a new reality show on the Women's Channel -- 'Stupid Husband Tricks.''

Movie Awards. Winner. It's been a big night for Ernie! He won three times at the movie-set caterer awards! On one set he made a healthy, refreshing beverage that received rave reviews from the cast and crew. He won the "best pitcher" award for it. Did they say he won for best costumes? No, his dressings won. His sticky buns won also. For "best leading roll" performance, right? No, for best "cinnamontography"!

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

"I was going to share my cookies with teddy, but he's on a diet....so I had to eat them all."

Breakfast surreal.

"Do you want fries with that?"

"Don't make me resort to alternative questioning techniques."

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

"Alexa, tell me ways I can be less of a lazy slob who won't get up to turn off the lights."

"You're the sport on my telly"

Chocolate never tasted as good as when I sneak a piece while dieting.

Cookie Thief

'Don't take it personally... he doesn't know I'm here either.'

"Get those things away from me- I can't stop eating them."

Storefront reading "Net 'n' Nosh (Formerly Books 'n' Java)"

'There you are - you know you're not supposed to be eating that!'

"If you're as smart a refrigerator as they say you are, you'll keep your mouth shut about this."

'Where did you get the idea that crackers are a minimum daily requirement?'

'This is quite common. You've eaten so many sausages that you've turned into one.'

Sometimes, instead of one big meal, I prefer tapas.

Factory raised chickens. . .Free range chickens. . . Chickens that crossed the road.

"Dad, what is a meal?"

Don't lie to me

Usher

'Put the cheesecake and cappuccino on one bill and the health salad on another bill so I can show my wife that I'm watching my diet.'

Eating in Heaven.

Dave figured out if he added green food coloring to his milkshakes everyone just presumed he was drinking a kale smoothie.

'It's just a few things your concession stand doesn't carry - fried chicken, potato salad, pumpkin pie...'

Zombies eat brains, eh? Some TV shows do, too.

"I don't care if it is the best value... next time we're just getting a MEDIUM popcorn!"

"Gracie, you can't leave Animal Crackers all over the place!"