Tv Snacker Gifts

"Stuffing your face while watching TV does cause obesity."

"That's the trouble with all these classic movies...they're all reruns!"

'It's a new reality show on the Women's Channel -- 'Stupid Husband Tricks.''

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

"I was going to share my cookies with teddy, but he's on a diet....so I had to eat them all."

Breakfast surreal.

"Do you want fries with that?"

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

"You're the sport on my telly"

"Don't make me resort to alternative questioning techniques."

Chocolate never tasted as good as when I sneak a piece while dieting.

Cookie Thief

"Get those things away from me- I can't stop eating them."

'Don't take it personally... he doesn't know I'm here either.'

Storefront reading "Net 'n' Nosh (Formerly Books 'n' Java)"

'There you are - you know you're not supposed to be eating that!'

"If you're as smart a refrigerator as they say you are, you'll keep your mouth shut about this."

'This is quite common. You've eaten so many sausages that you've turned into one.'

'Where did you get the idea that crackers are a minimum daily requirement?'

Factory raised chickens. . .Free range chickens. . . Chickens that crossed the road.

Usher

"Dad, what is a meal?"

'Put the cheesecake and cappuccino on one bill and the health salad on another bill so I can show my wife that I'm watching my diet.'

Eating in Heaven.

'It's just a few things your concession stand doesn't carry - fried chicken, potato salad, pumpkin pie...'

Dave figured out if he added green food coloring to his milkshakes everyone just presumed he was drinking a kale smoothie.

Breaking Bad Wind

Book Burp

"I don't care if it is the best value... next time we're just getting a MEDIUM popcorn!"

"Yeah, he calls me his best friend alright, but he's never shared his hot chips: not once!"