Showtime Snacker Gifts

Usher

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

"That's part of my Quality Control Program."

Opening night at the circus: "How's everyone's jitters?"

"I was going to share my cookies with teddy, but he's on a diet....so I had to eat them all."

Inactive wear store.

Breakfast surreal.

"Whosoever pulleth this sword from this stone, and can eat just two or three of these double-chocolate Amaretto things without finishing the whole box, shall be king born of England!"

Bedside Manna.

"When it comes to what you eat, this healthy plate simply can't compete, with something sweet!"

"Stuffing your face while watching TV does cause obesity."

"Get those things away from me- I can't stop eating them."

Lady has a coffee break.

'Don't take it personally... he doesn't know I'm here either.'

How farmers get away w/ eating crackers in bed

Doomed Food Group

'Well, I'd say this calls for a toast!'

"Dad, what is a meal?"

Factory raised chickens. . .Free range chickens. . . Chickens that crossed the road.

Snack Time

'It's just a few things your concession stand doesn't carry - fried chicken, potato salad, pumpkin pie...'

'You've been eating crisps in bed again, haven't you?'

"I've found my soul mate!"

Cull people who eat big bags of potato chips during a movie.

'Are you genetically modified? - Then you'll love our G.M. food.'

"I don't care if it is the best value... next time we're just getting a MEDIUM popcorn!"

Book Burp

Shows at 6 am and 6 pm daily.

"Yeah, he calls me his best friend alright, but he's never shared his hot chips: not once!"

'It's a new reality show on the Women's Channel -- 'Stupid Husband Tricks.''