Sneaky Snacker Pillows

'Put the cheesecake and cappuccino on one bill and the health salad on another bill so I can show my wife that I'm watching my diet.'

Dave figured out if he added green food coloring to his milkshakes everyone just presumed he was drinking a kale smoothie.

"Don't make me resort to alternative questioning techniques."

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

A hunter who has snuck off with a picnic basket.

'There you are - you know you're not supposed to be eating that!'

!There you are - you know you're not supposed to be eating that!"

Chocolate never tasted as good as when I sneak a piece while dieting.

Cookie Thief

Midnight Snack

"I'll take a salad, add bacon bits, extra cheese, dressing, and powdered sugar, not lettuce."

"I've hidden all the emergency chocolate in the fruit bowl, it'll be quite safe there."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

Secretive Weigh In.

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

Honest Vending

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

"My parents won't allow sugar in the house, so I've had to learn about it on the street."

"I was going to share my cookies with teddy, but he's on a diet....so I had to eat them all."

"Works every time."

"I like to use new Bible words. Let's beseech Mom for cookies."

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

Student Food Pyramid

In prehistoric times, there were hunters, gatherers and guys who never had change.

Breakfast surreal.

"Don't tell coach about this- he doesn't want us to be friends."

Bill stumbles upon an automated taco maker.

Give me a child at seven and I will show you the MAN!

The Pope getting a Popsicle for Popes from the Freezer

"It's a map to the vending machines."

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'