Sneaky Snack Saver Pillows

'My wife has me on a very strict diet so I need a safe place to store my binge foods.'

Bad for you but to die for

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

Honest Vending

Secretive Weigh In.

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

"My parents won't allow sugar in the house, so I've had to learn about it on the street."

"I like to use new Bible words. Let's beseech Mom for cookies."

Champagne

"Works every time."

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

"Whoa! One last doughnut left."

"Don't tell coach about this- he doesn't want us to be friends."

In prehistoric times, there were hunters, gatherers and guys who never had change.

Student Food Pyramid

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

"Always faithful to arrive early and, of course, get the dibs on the jelly doughnuts."

Bill stumbles upon an automated taco maker.

'Mom can I have another apple?'

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

"Don't make me resort to alternative questioning techniques."

Budget Munchies

Gym. Whatever weight I manage to lose here I always seem to find on my way home. Donuts.

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

Give me a child at seven and I will show you the MAN!

"It's a map to the vending machines."

Romulus and Remus and the Vending Machine

"You complete me."

'Beer? Wassat then?'

The Pope getting a Popsicle for Popes from the Freezer

'Because it's there!'