Snack Samplers Gifts

"The face of the pear-shaped man reminded me of the mashed turnips that Aunt Mildred used to serve alongside the Thanksgiving turkey. As he got out of the strawberry-hued car, his immense fists looked like two slabs of slightly gnawed ham. He waddled over

Tartine

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

Little league world series of poker.

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

The Classy Dog: 'Dine & dance hotdogs: '50 cents a dance'.

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

"I'm eating baklava through my balaclava!"

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

"With the prices they charge these days I can't afford to throw a pie or can off beer at the ref."

Pope tarts.

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

"The bagels are better in New York."

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

Sinking Sand

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

Second aid

"Billy, we don't need to feed that vacuum robot."

'Why, yes, I think that's a lovely sweater, Peter... But you know the rule: no snacks unless you brought enough for the whole class.'

Food van driving through an office.

Happy Meals for Grown Ups

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

'Has he been out with your mother by any chance?'

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

'Beer? Wassat then?'

"We know you have better treats than raisins...we hacked your supermarket loyalty card."

"I don't care what your father said, Santa likes milk and cookies NOT beer and pretzels!"

"I recommend the pimento loaf with pickle. It's bursting with umami."

Oysters in June - delicious!

'Snack Bar's Open.'

"Get those things away from me- I can't stop eating them."