Snack Sampler Gifts

"I don't understand it - no matter how much I drink coffee, play on my phone, refresh my e-mail, look up things online, go to the kitchen for snacks, message my friends, scroll through Twitter, and play with the cats, I still can't get any writing done."

'You know, hors d'oeuvres are completely lost on your side of the family.'

Sinking Sand

When Mrs Murray said you should vary your diet I don't think she meant to just try all 16 flavours of POT NOODLES.

"Have you ever thought about putting out, instead of pretzels, maybe peanuts?"

Working from home.

Tartine

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

Super Heroes.

Sauce for the Goose

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

The Classy Dog: 'Dine & dance hotdogs: '50 cents a dance'.

"I'm eating baklava through my balaclava!"

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

"The bagels are better in New York."

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

"With the prices they charge these days I can't afford to throw a pie or can off beer at the ref."

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

"I was going to share my cookies with teddy, but he's on a diet....so I had to eat them all."

'Diet considerations.'

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

"Billy, we don't need to feed that vacuum robot."

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

Second aid

'Why, yes, I think that's a lovely sweater, Peter... But you know the rule: no snacks unless you brought enough for the whole class.'

"We know you have better treats than raisins...we hacked your supermarket loyalty card."

Happy Meals for Grown Ups

Food van driving through an office.

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

'Has he been out with your mother by any chance?'

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

'Beer? Wassat then?'

"I don't care what your father said, Santa likes milk and cookies NOT beer and pretzels!"

Oysters in June - delicious!