Snack Samplers Mugs

"The face of the pear-shaped man reminded me of the mashed turnips that Aunt Mildred used to serve alongside the Thanksgiving turkey. As he got out of the strawberry-hued car, his immense fists looked like two slabs of slightly gnawed ham. He waddled over

Tartine

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

Little league world series of poker.

The Classy Dog: 'Dine & dance hotdogs: '50 cents a dance'.

"I'm eating baklava through my balaclava!"

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

"The bagels are better in New York."

"With the prices they charge these days I can't afford to throw a pie or can off beer at the ref."

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

Second aid

Sinking Sand

"Billy, we don't need to feed that vacuum robot."

'Why, yes, I think that's a lovely sweater, Peter... But you know the rule: no snacks unless you brought enough for the whole class.'

Happy Meals for Grown Ups

'Has he been out with your mother by any chance?'

'Beer? Wassat then?'

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

Food van driving through an office.

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

"We know you have better treats than raisins...we hacked your supermarket loyalty card."

"I don't care what your father said, Santa likes milk and cookies NOT beer and pretzels!"

"Get those things away from me- I can't stop eating them."

"We grind our own catnip."

Oysters in June - delicious!

'Snack Bar's Open.'

'There's a fee for each carry-on bag, including your bag of chips.'