Smooth Rider Gifts

'It's not meant to be a fold up bike, but the truck driver I held up for seven miles thought otherwise.'

The Victors

Fighter Jet Sneeze

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

Bryan Ferry

'May I have the key to your heart?'

'I do so much better with women when I quit trying to understand them and just repeat what they say to each other.'

Sporting snobs talk about hunting on turnpike roads

I'll admit I haven't been waiting all my life to meet you, but I have waited through a rough pencil sketch, the inking process and Photoshop lettering. Surely that's worth something! !?!

"So, do you walk the talk? Replete the tweet? Sext the text?"

'Correct me if I'm wrong.' (Everyone holds their hand up).

"Wow! This car has a continental kit, train horn, smoothed-out firewall, polyurethane bushings and a 2400-CFM fan! I have a long way to go!"

Pony Love...

"It's discretionary income but I occasionally use it for indiscretions."

The Language of Love

"I'm getting something to speed things up, Jenkins. A skateboard."

Lady asking a man to Jump over a gate before her

'I'm getting ready for mating season.'

Social butterfly

'Yes, I did agree to a double date. However, taking two women out at the same time isn't what I expected!'

Santa's Workshop. Ernie runs that sanding machind here. He says that makes him a "smooth operator."

You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that? Many times. How would you like to be the "after" image in my new ad touting the health benefits of our new nonfat kale macchiato. Let me guess: You'd also like an old picture of me where I was weak and puny, so you can claim that's the "before" picture. Don't worry, I've got that part covered. Something about you looked different today, Rudy. Would you like fries with that observation?

'Fantastic meeting! . . . Just fantastic. Why don't I have my weasels call your weasels.'

"Giddyup!. . . Damn. I think I just wasted 500 bucks."

'For the last time: no, you could not interest me in a cold fusion experiment!'

'Sergeant Major here is going to help us overcome our fear issues...he's ex Army!'

'Let me take you away from all this — I know a much better bar across the street.'

"Sure you remember me. I'm the guy who collapsed here last night... right in front of your... and had to be rushed to the hospital."

"Let's hope his sale pitches are better than his passes."

Dog Car Rides

"I prefer to think of it as travel size."

'How many effin times!? Skip Sedately!'

'Oh great. It's Western and I use an English saddle.'