Smooth Operator Enthusiasts Gifts

Santa's Workshop. Ernie runs that sanding machind here. He says that makes him a "smooth operator."

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

'It's not meant to be a fold up bike, but the truck driver I held up for seven miles thought otherwise.'

Bryan Ferry

Sir Edward Elgar

In case of funky emergency, break glass

'Cool! Where'd you learn the new step?'

Dance.

'May I have the key to your heart?'

'I do so much better with women when I quit trying to understand them and just repeat what they say to each other.'

I'll admit I haven't been waiting all my life to meet you, but I have waited through a rough pencil sketch, the inking process and Photoshop lettering. Surely that's worth something! !?!

"Why, Giambattista Tiepolo, you old so-and-so! Who knew you could paint?"

'Correct me if I'm wrong.' (Everyone holds their hand up).

'Thanks for the order, Mr Barnes and I want you to think of me as your friend.'

'Honey. . . I'm ommmmmmmmmmmmmmm.'

"So, do you walk the talk? Replete the tweet? Sext the text?"

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

The Language of Love

"It's discretionary income but I occasionally use it for indiscretions."

"Don't forget the spaghetti dinner at Sparolini's after the show."

'Of course business is slow. Would we want it any other way?'

'I couldn't afford flowers, but I got a really good deal on Kenny G.'

'I'm getting ready for mating season.'

Social butterfly

'Yes, I did agree to a double date. However, taking two women out at the same time isn't what I expected!'

Sergeant Meryll (of the Yeomen of the Guard)

You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that? Many times. How would you like to be the "after" image in my new ad touting the health benefits of our new nonfat kale macchiato. Let me guess: You'd also like an old picture of me where I was weak and puny, so you can claim that's the "before" picture. Don't worry, I've got that part covered. Something about you looked different today, Rudy. Would you like fries with that observation?

That's a shame. What's a shame? Did I do something wrong, officer? TSA. Yes, you did. You let your boyfriend turn you down. So what if he's 15,000 miles away in Russia? If I were your man, I'd never let that stop me. I would fly to the ends of the earth for you. This routing ever work for you? Good lord this routine must work for you.

'Fantastic meeting! . . . Just fantastic. Why don't I have my weasels call your weasels.'

Speed Checked By Radar.

"I've tricked all my squirmy patients into staying still by telling them we're doing the mannequin challenge."

Winter Roadwork...