Smoking Philosopher Gifts

A pen rests in an ashtray.

"I'm going back inside to get some air."

Smoking Area

'Marge always said I'd smoke over her dead body.'

Designated Smoking Area

'Allowing prayer time at work...It's a disgrace!'

Angel and demon sitting together looking angry smoking heavily and throwing the butts in the holy grail

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

Professional woman in pub

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

'our chances seemed pretty good until you lighted that 20.'

Pollution Look

"I see, Mr. Pipkins, we're back on the bourbon and smoking through glazed doughnuts."

"I'm afraid the umbrella constitutes an enclosed space and must be taken down."

'Mr Evans, I think we'd better reconsider our no-smoking policy.'

Aw, @#$%, just go to business school. EMU. The Practical Muse.

"Love it! 'People of smoke' instead of 'Smokers.' "

'Why can't you just chew bones like other dogs?' (dog smoking pipe).

"I only allow myself one after a meal - I'm now down to 43 meals a day!"

"I suppose you heard about the crazy smoker who wound in a menthol hospital?"

'Well actually, the only reason I put my head out of the window is that Master smokes while driving...'

"That's why you don't smoke near the dang cannon!"

Prehistoric Cigarette Lighter

Cigarettes $7.50 - Ask About Our Easy Payment Plan.

Warning.

'I used to be a pack animal. Lately, I've become a two pack animal.'

Tim's hopes for his safer smoking device were to be dashed when it failed to fit through the door...

'Smoking or non-smoking?'

"I'm afraid we don't allow smoking in here sir. We consider it unhygenic."

If they ban smoking in cars...

"You should have mentioned in your resume that you could only do it once."

Smokers.

'Isn't it bad for you?...no I haven't managed to light one yet!'

"Damn straight, it's not as if there's a war and they just hand us our profits."