Whiskey Philosophers Gifts

"Damn straight, it's not as if there's a war and they just hand us our profits."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

Join me in a Martini?

"I'm afraid our drinking water isn't pure."

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

Trump Poutine

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

'The secret to life, my friend, is hoppiness!'

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

Buy one beer, get one free. If I may paraphrase a famous quote, "Beer is proof that God has mixed feelings about us and wants us to be hungover."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

Whiskey wars

'Whiskey and splash, sir.'

"Whiskey...Leave the bottle."

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

'The first cocktail.'

"I was surprised myself, but living apart, seeing other people, and having virtually nothing to do with each other actually has made our marriage stronger."

"I asked for a bottle of something that would make men drool over me. This is bourbon."

"Your idea is strong. Really strong. But I've gotta ask myself, is it too much espresso for a decaf world?"

'As soon as I mention Nietzsche - stop serving me, okay.'

Bar Therapy

The Angel's Share

'If you don't start feeling better in 24 hours, pour yourself a tall scotch.'

'Listen, if they didn't have alcohol in heaven, it wouldn't be heaven!'

Nothing like that first cup of coffee, eh, Frank?

"I see, Mr. Pipkins, we're back on the bourbon and smoking through glazed doughnuts."

'We have developed an APP we use to import ingredients from the Internet, merge them in the computer, and then download them into the distiller and then just bottle the output.'