Smoke Philosopher Gifts

'Smoking or non?'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

"You don't whisper anymore."

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

Meekness of Mr Pecksniff and his Charming Daughter

'Jim's blogging his thought for the day. He doesn't have any profound thoughts, he just has one thought per day.'

"Your idea is strong. Really strong. But I've gotta ask myself, is it too much espresso for a decaf world?"

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

Pollution Look

Nothing like that first cup of coffee, eh, Frank?

"I see, Mr. Pipkins, we're back on the bourbon and smoking through glazed doughnuts."

Continental Drift.

'Mr Evans, I think we'd better reconsider our no-smoking policy.'

"Love it! 'People of smoke' instead of 'Smokers.' "

"I wish there was an easy answer but there's a sexual subtext to consider...even if you are comliant in meeting my needs am I subconsciously placing you in the sexually subservient role or nurturer and provider."

...Five ways for the cities-towns to raise money...

"I can see the green shoots of recovery. The fag butts are getting longer."

Warning.

"They want to turn the clocks back?"

Paranormal tips: sandwiches with crop circles may lead to marmalade stains on trousers

"I'm only writing fake product reviews until I find someone to publish my novel."

"We're close to being reliant solely on renewable sources of outrage."

"I keep it on to remind me that I managed to escape a life of crime before I was in too deep."

"It's a novel about quarterly reports."

"Sir, your sitting here and drinking coffee while simply musing is making our guests uncomfortable."