Slowpokes Gifts

Snail slow to react to an ant's joke.

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

Snail Pattern Balding.

'It's a slow trap.'

Tortoise and the Hare

'If you were in such a hurry why did you order the snails?'

What's the difference between fast food and slow food?

"RUN!"

"Month-end report due by month end, ha ha ha ha ha."

Tai Chi video - can you slow it down, it's still too fast!

'A 3-speed transmission gives me speeds of slow, slower and slowest'

Who's playing - 'I'm not sure.' - 'What's the score?' - 'I don't know.' - 'What the...?' - 'Yeah, baby... slow motion replay' -

Granny takes a turtle for a walk.

"Anyone home?"

Speed Dating: Hurry up, you old git!

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

Snail Pattern Balding.

"We suck at this."

"Don't even bother – we missed the deadline to finish our March Madness brackets again."

'I thought he'd never leave!'

"Time travel will never happen. You'd have to be able to travel faster than the speed of a tortoise for it to be possible."

"Hold your hat ! Here we go!"

"My husband says I'm a procrastinator. I plan to look it up on day."

'Are you a football fan?'

'Hey buddy, want to race me?'

"Sorry Sir, but it is already on the slowest speed..."

"I am running!"

Nobody thinks you're funny

'Better slow it down a bit.'

'Thanks for the best birthday gift I ever got...a slow cooker.'

'On your mark...'

"Slow food" means preparing locally grown, organic produce that is�raised by fairly treated labor and cooked from scratch. Umm�Does taking an entire evening to lovingly defrost Tub O' Stew qualify? Maybe as a starter step.

"I put the roast in the slow cooker. It'll be ready next Thursday."

"Easy does it, Ralph."

"Sorry to pull you over, but do you realize how fast you weren't going?"