Slowpoke Gifts

"My husband says I'm a procrastinator. I plan to look it up on day."

You'll see the food is excellent, but the service is far too slow....

Snail Pattern Balding.

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

Slow food restaurant

'It's a slow trap.'

Sloth traffic jam.

Tortoise and the Hare

"I cook everything with an alternative energy source, so it may take a while."

Snail slow to react to an ant's joke.

"RUN!"

"Month-end report due by month end, ha ha ha ha ha."

"It sucks being reincarnated as a snail, but at least I've finally achieved home ownership."

"No more ice cream cakes."

What's the difference between fast food and slow food?

'If you were in such a hurry why did you order the snails?'

"We suck at this."

Snail Pattern Balding.

Speed Dating: Hurry up, you old git!

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

"Anyone home?"

Granny takes a turtle for a walk.

'A 3-speed transmission gives me speeds of slow, slower and slowest'

"Don't even bother – we missed the deadline to finish our March Madness brackets again."

'Hey buddy, want to race me?'

"Hold your hat ! Here we go!"

"Time travel will never happen. You'd have to be able to travel faster than the speed of a tortoise for it to be possible."

Cow Boy

Nobody thinks you're funny

'Thanks for the best birthday gift I ever got...a slow cooker.'

'Better slow it down a bit.'

Hurry up! My ladies home ecology group is tonight. Chop-chop! Eat up. I've gotta run. What's tonight's topic? Slow food. Burp.

'On your mark...'

"Sorry to pull you over, but do you realize how fast you weren't going?"

I need your help so we can get into the slow food movement. Ok. What can I do? Rumble rumble. No time to dine. Gotta run. Start the slow children movement.