Slowpoke Driver Gifts

'It's a slow trap.'

Snail Racing

Snail Pattern Balding.

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

Sloth traffic jam.

"RUN!"

"Month-end report due by month end, ha ha ha ha ha."

'A 3-speed transmission gives me speeds of slow, slower and slowest'

Speed Dating: Hurry up, you old git!

Granny takes a turtle for a walk.

"Anyone home?"

Snail Pattern Balding.

"We suck at this."

It's The Highway For People Who Hate To Drive

"Don't even bother – we missed the deadline to finish our March Madness brackets again."

"My husband says I'm a procrastinator. I plan to look it up on day."

"Time travel will never happen. You'd have to be able to travel faster than the speed of a tortoise for it to be possible."

"Hold your hat ! Here we go!"

'Hey buddy, want to race me?'

Nobody thinks you're funny

'Better slow it down a bit.'

I'd join you, but this dratted self-timer only waits for ten seconds!

I've always been fascinated in the manufacture of sproket head gears.

'On your mark...'

"Easy does it, Ralph."

"Sorry to pull you over, but do you realize how fast you weren't going?"

"I don't think delivering food is for me. It's always cold by the time I get there."

"They look pretty angry Bob! We should consider letting them play through..."

"Oh no...altar call."

Checkout Snail

'Can you stop the car Gordon? Mother lost her teeth when you went over that cattle grid.'

I've always been interested in the manufacture of sproket head gaskets.

'Where is my regular man?'

"And this time, guys, no false starts."