Slowpoke Lover Gifts

Nobody thinks you're funny

Speed Dating for Turtles

"I said slime."

Snail Pattern Balding.

'It's a slow trap.'

Tortoise and the Hare

Snail slow to react to an ant's joke.

What's the difference between fast food and slow food?

'If you were in such a hurry why did you order the snails?'

'I can't believe you only lasted 3 days, 9 hours and 56 minutes.'

"It sucks being reincarnated as a snail, but at least I've finally achieved home ownership."

"RUN!"

"Month-end report due by month end, ha ha ha ha ha."

Speed Dating: Hurry up, you old git!

I wanna find out about your let to buy options!

"Anyone home?"

Granny takes a turtle for a walk.

'A 3-speed transmission gives me speeds of slow, slower and slowest'

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

"It's my family coat of arms, Joe-smoked salmon couchant on a field of cream cheese."

"We suck at this."

Snail Pattern Balding.

"Don't even bother – we missed the deadline to finish our March Madness brackets again."

"Time travel will never happen. You'd have to be able to travel faster than the speed of a tortoise for it to be possible."

"Hold your hat ! Here we go!"

'Hey buddy, want to race me?'

"My husband says I'm a procrastinator. I plan to look it up on day."

'It's an interesting effect: I tend to walk faster when I'm listening to Rock & Roll...'

'Better slow it down a bit.'

It's an anti-tipping device, I thought of it while watching Drag-Racing on TV...

"Sorry to pull you over, but do you realize how fast you weren't going?"

"Our blind dates have spotted us, but it's going to be a while before we reach them: try to stay nonchalant all the way though..."

"I don't think delivering food is for me. It's always cold by the time I get there."

'On your mark...'

"Slow food" means preparing locally grown, organic produce that is�raised by fairly treated labor and cooked from scratch. Umm�Does taking an entire evening to lovingly defrost Tub O' Stew qualify? Maybe as a starter step.